Rachel's Hope after-abortion workshop for men is a one-day gathering of men who have been directly involved in an abortion with their partner, be it current or past, and for men who are in relationship with a post-abortive woman. This 7 1/2 hour workshop helps men get in touch with the avoidance of pain over the loss of their child through an abortion. It also helps them to understand what their partner has experienced and may still be experiencing. This understanding of their partner's pain is necessary, as well as their own pain and regrets. It helps to strengthen the relationship by compassionating with their partner. Men are hardwired to do and to fix a problem and when they do not know how to do that, they typically avoid or run away. Women are more hardwired to be relational and in so doing are more willing to express their pain and often times in a skewed way. If a woman expresses and the man does not interpret accurately, the relationship can easily go into opposite directions because of their own interpretation about what is happening in the relationship.
In order to keep the men's attention throughout the workshop, video clips are shown and also some overhead projection film, implementing some 12-step principles, which eases the men into an understanding of what they have been trying to avoid because they didn't know how to fix it, the abortion.. Women perceive this avoidance as men don't care because they're not all teary and emotional about the tragic event. With that interpretation it's not unusual for the female partner to "impress upon the man how they should feel". Men perceive this as an attack and their "flight or fight" kicks in. The issue of the abortion goes unresolved.
These workshops are conducted twice a year six months apart.
Presented by: Dr. Paul Santero, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Catholic Diocese of San Diego Pastoral Center
3888 Paducah Dr.
San Diego, California 92117